


All I Want for Hanukkah (Christmas) is You

by badboy_fangirl



Category: Glee
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-09
Updated: 2012-01-09
Packaged: 2017-10-29 07:15:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/317138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badboy_fangirl/pseuds/badboy_fangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On Christmas Eve Beth's biological parents intend to give her a gift, but then they receive one as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I Want for Hanukkah (Christmas) is You

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers through 2x09 "Special Education," AU after that. I wrote this for the Holiday Spirit Exchange at gleefics. Beta'd by the gorgeous aboutbefore.

"Do you think she'll like it?" Puck asks. He drums his thumbs against the top of the steering wheel.

"I think she's a baby, and she won't know the difference. But some day, it will mean something to her." Quinn's hands are folded primly on her lap and her back is ramrod straight as she sits in the passenger seat of his truck.

"Yeah," he says softly as he pulls the car up to the curb outside Shelby Corcoran's house. "You're right."

Quinn turns and looks at him. "Let's just do this as quickly as possible. I have plans with Sam."

"On Christmas Eve?" He's a Jew, sure, but he knows most people hang out with their families on a holiday like that.

She glares at him. "My parents got divorced this year, Christmas is a little messed up, okay?"

"Yeah, whatever," he mutters, rolling his eyes.

She gets out of the car and he waits about ten seconds. He's gonna make this the longest hour of her life, but in a totally nice-guy sort of way. There's no way she'll be a bitch to him in front of Shelby and Beth, since this is the first (and last) time they're doing this visiting thing.

Today they're signing the final adoption papers and giving their baby daughter a gift that they've both managed to contribute to even though they, like, can't stand each other now.

Well, Quinn probably never could stand him, but this is the first time he's ever truly hated her.

It's hard to get shot down every time you try with a person and not resent the hell out of them. Puck knows, because he's tried everything from completely ignoring her to actually being her friend, and all she's ever done is look at him with that ugly expression on her face that makes him want to slap her.

He doesn't hit girls, for what it's worth. But if he was ever gonna start, he'd do it with Quinn. She fucking pisses him off like no other person on the planet, including Santana, and Santana can be a big-ass bitch when she wants to be. Of course, the deal with that is that he doesn't really care what Santana does.

He cares too much about what Quinn does (who she's dating), cares so much he does everything he can to not seem like he cares at all. (And then she did weird crap like come up to him at his locker two weeks before and announce that they needed to go visit Shelby and Beth to sign the papers, and that she's gonna make a special present for their kid that he needed to help her with. He called her Rachel Berry for being so bossy and she just curled her lip up like he disgusted her. Which, maybe he did. And fuck her, thank you very much.)

He always has the feeling with Quinn that she knows just how much he cares. (No matter how hard he works to not give a damn.)

A few moments later, they're standing on Shelby's porch and she's smiling at them with the baby on her hip. He barely mumbles a hello before he's reaching out to touch the golden curls on Beth's small head. Her hair is the exact color of Quinn's, but the texture is all him, waves already curving around her little ears. A small hand stretches up and four tiny fingers and an itty bitty thumb wrap around just one of his. The baby leans towards him and they aren't even over the threshold of the house before she's in his arms like she belongs there, giggling and grabbing at the shell necklace he's got around his throat.

He can feel Quinn's eyes on him as they walk into the living room, but he just ignores her. This is his time (his _only_ time) with his kid, so seriously, fuck her. He's not going to let her run this like he's let her run everything else. He sits on the floor so that the baby can stand on his legs and he just plays with her while Shelby introduces Quinn to a lady named Ginger Monson, the notary who is going to witness their signatures on the adoption papers.

"We made Beth a present," Quinn says, handing Shelby the three-ring binder she carries. Puck watches while looking like he's completely absorbed in the kid. (What? He can multi-task. It's like playing _Halo_ and convincing his mother he's doing his homework.)

Shelby opens it, but says nothing at first. Then she flips the first page and one of her hands flies up to her mouth. "Wow," she says, her voice very quiet. "She looks just like you, doesn't she?"

Puck knows what she means. The first time he'd seen Quinn's baby pictures (just a few days ago), he'd been struck by the fact that so little of him actually made its way into Beth's DNA (he's got all the pictures Shelby ever emailed him saved in a special folder on his mom's computer). It's almost like Quinn had willed him out of the situation altogether because she hadn't wanted him to be the baby daddy. That's why noticing the slight curl to Beth's hair is like his one claim to fame, because otherwise, she's just a little clone of her mother.

"This is really wonderful, you guys," Shelby says, continuing to turn the pages of the scrapbook. She looks over at Puck, including him in the compliment. "I really like the family history and religious stuff. Beth is half Jewish, and it's important for her to know about it." She hugs Quinn. "Thank you. Someday, Beth is going to be really grateful to have this."

(He can't help but notice that's exactly what Quinn had said in the car.)

"My mom did most of my stuff," Puck says, which is weird, because normally he'd take all the credit he could get for it. Quinn's eyes meet his, but then she looks away when Beth's little hands reach up and smack his cheeks.

"It's still an extremely thoughtful idea. Not only will it give Beth an idea about her biological parents, it will give her roots. Someday, she's bound to want to meet you, and this will give her a little introduction."

Even from across the room, Puck can see the tears in Quinn's eyes, and it sort of surprises him. He knows that deep down, she cares, that she has to, because how could she have carried Beth for all those months and then just give her away and be all _whatever_ about it? It's just that she never shows anything and it pisses him off because it forces him to not show anything either when he'd really like to start up a conversation about how he fucking hates himself sometimes and he misses his baby girl even though he doesn't really know her and Quinn's the only person who he could have that conversation with, except _not really_.

"It was all Quinn's idea," he adds.

She looks back at him, and her lips tremble a little when she tries to smile at him. She fails, and glances away quickly before her fingers press delicately at the corners of her eyes to wipe away the moisture.

They hang out for a little while longer, and Quinn holds Beth while Puck signs the papers. He stretches the moment out, writing his name slowly. He realizes he's trying to give her more time with Beth, because she didn't just take it like he had. (Maybe she'd really been running this too, letting him have time that didn't belong solely to him.) She doesn't play with her like he did, but she presses her forehead to the baby's, whispering something he can't hear (he hopes it's _I love you_ because that's what he'd whispered in Beth's ear before placing her in Quinn's arms), and then she hands the baby back to Shelby as Ms. Monson holds out a pen for her.

She takes a deep breath and leans over the table, her hand resting just above the place where Puck had signed his name a moment before. The pen shakes in her hand, but she signs anyway before dropping the instrument like it's burned her fingers. She steps back from the table and her head turns toward him. Her eyes whisk up to his, and without planning it he reaches for her hand. She laces her fingers through his, and he's pretty sure this is the only time they've ever held hands. Now, today, on the day that they've permanently given their child away.

She clenches her fingers tightly through his and he just returns the pressure so she knows he can feel her. Her pain. His pain. It's all the same. The unspoken quality of it doesn't make it any less real.

He thinks about Sam, waiting back in Lima at Breadsticks, and who knows, maybe Quinn's really into the guy, but none of that matters. Because whether they like it or not, she's _their_ baby, and it's their little life story in that binder that will sit on Shelby's shelf until Beth is old enough to understand where she came from and just who loved her enough to give her a chance at a better life.

Yeah, like it or not, Sam Evans ain't got nothing on Noah Puckerman. Puck doesn't have the girl, but he's got the knowledge, the truth in his chest that can't be taken from him.

Their hands are still joined as they leave a few minutes later. Shelby holds up Beth's arm, making her wave goodbye to them, and they get all the way to the curb before Quinn folds in on herself. Her head falls against his chest and his free arm curls around her shoulder. Cupping a hand behind her neck, he holds her face against his heart. Her tears are already leaking through the material of his t-shirt, just inside his coat, so he doesn't say anything, he just holds her.

It's funny how her tears make him able to be strong.

After a few minutes, when the cold is really noticeable and she shivers in his arms, he reminds her, "You've got a hot date, right?"

She just shakes her head against his chest. "Don't wanna," she whispers, and her arms snake around his waist, squeezing him tight.

His hand in buried in her hair (which is not up in her Cheerio-commanded ponytail since they're on Christmas Break), so he tugs on it, pulling her face back. Their eyes meet under the street light and he says, "Wanna go for a drive with me?"

She nods, her hands clenching in the material of his shirt at his waist. Her eyes widen a little and she says, "Let's go get Dunkin' Donuts?" but it's like a question, so Puck chuckles and agrees as he helps her get in the car.

It's hours later, after hot cocoa and pastries have been consumed on the front seat, that he slides inside her and her fingers press desperately at the base of his spine. He's got a condom on this time, but it still feels pretty fucking awesome. He mumbles into her neck, "You only want me when it's cheating, don't you?" and moves into her with a little more force than necessary. Her lips taste like chocolate and marshmallows, and she's panting in this way that lets him know he's hitting all the right spots, but he still feels resentment battling with every other emotion Quinn stirs inside him.

He'd started out this evening hating her, but now he's fucking her while his truck runs on a dirty back road because it's too cold outside to turn it off. She initiated it, leaning across the bench seat to kiss his mouth, her tongue darting across his lips and pilfering past his teeth until he was frustrated in a whole new way. (Well, a whole _old_ way, really, but it had been a long time since this was the kind of frustration he felt in Quinn's presence. And then her hand had cupped him through his jeans, and he'd realized maybe he didn't have to end the night hard.)

She whimpers deliciously with his movements, the sound escaping her parted lips as he holds his face directly over hers. She shakes her head in response, and bites her bottom lip, which makes him almost forget what he asked her. Her fingernails score into that sensitive skin just inside the back of his jeans, and he thinks he's going to come too soon.

"No," she breathes, arching beneath him. "I always want you." Her eyes close and she grates out as she starts to convulse around him, "I hate that I want you, but I _always_ want you."

Puck's thrusts get wild for a moment and then he streaks over the edge after her. With his face buried against her shoulder and his eyes tightly shut, he sees that they have a lot more in common than he ever guessed before. She's just better at hiding how she feels.

Her words are low and careful in his ear. "Maybe I should just stop fighting it."

Puck presses his lips to her cheek as he turns them so they're laying on the bench seat but she's not smashed beneath him. He tries to make a non-committal sound, but it comes out sounding like begging anyway.

Quinn's hand cups his cheek and their lips meet softly. Then she tucks her head under his chin. Her eyelashes flutter against his throat.

It's already so different than the first night they did this that he lets himself face the fact that he'd never fought it hard enough to accomplish anything other than this right here.

He'll take her for as long as she'll give herself, that much he knows.

"Merry Christmas," he whispers.

Quinn laughs.


End file.
